Cats taking over the world

And the meows have it. Are cats conspiring to take over the World?

URGENT: it’s come to our attention that the apocalypse is way closer than we feared. Hide your money. Tell your friends. Guard your dogs. Lock your doors.

It’s fairly obvious to those who pay attention or have been near a cat for a prolonged period of time that the little furry hellions are clearly plotting to take over the world.

You may not have noticed if you own a cat that they have dark plans that aid in them taking over the world. How else would you explain the following?

  • They constantly watch your every move trying to find your weaknesses
  • They have a remarkable ability to defy gravity
  • They pretend to play and stop talking when you enter the room
  • Sneaking around and whispering secret messages in code to each other
  • You have caught them drawing maps in their catnip. ( dogs beware )
  • They will find backups to deal with you if you tell them NO
  • You catch them filing their nails
  • They have “off the hook: ninja skills
  • Raking excess cat litter all over the floor ( this is actually practice for burying bodies )
  • Staring Contest ( DO NOT ever look away. That is a sign of weakness and a cat will extort it )
  • Your cat leaves a mouse or bird on your pillow: ( he is wanting you to fear him. He is letting to know that he’s a conqueror. In fact, he is making sure you know that he is part of a race of conquerors. A race that is winding a journey of a world domination order )

They will get you one human at a time, one dog at a time. Their dominion attempts become clearer daily. If you are a dog owner, beware of the plans they have for you and your beloved human companion, because their plans are scary . . . very, very scary.

It seems that all we can do for now is to make sure we stay on their good sides by providing plenty of food and love. Then, and only then, when the human race is subdued by these conniving felines that those of us who treated them best, will be treated well. Dog people will be enslaved. It’s only a matter of time.

Kidding aside, having a pet clearly helps you live a better life. In even the simplest terms, it could not be denied that pets bring a different and positive energy to lives of people, and they certainly brighten a home. Any pet may be that one secret stepping stone to bring amusement, love, comfort and joy to a home. Cats are one pet that makes all these benefits higher, and that is if you choose a cat as a pet.

How is it that a cat can enslave us and capture our hearts with their charms?

They have an uncommon quality that we [people] would do well to develop: a substantial ability to accept affection… When we see a cat sauntering in our direction, it is often difficult to not want to pet them, even when it’s not so wise.

One reason “cats make such good pets” is that they make fabulous companions.  They appear to have the capacity to detect when you require some comforting. Research demonstrates that having felines as pets can help increase a person’s physiological, compassionate and psychological side. People that care for pets, are more likely to be caring in general than those who are not.

The purr of a cat is known to be healing to human beings. When we hear a cat purring it relieves stress, lowers blood pressure, lowers the risk of heart attacks, helps ease difficult breathing, calms nerves and induces a feeling of wellbeing.

Every cat is odd and quirky. Quite frankly, with having unique personalities from one another, “cat people” find it hard not to treat them like tiny humans and put them on pedestals. They can be antisocial and don’t want any attention but that just makes us crave their attention more. When “they” decide they want some attention, we are elated that they came to us for love. Total manipulation? Maybe!

When cats are at an absurd level of annoying (it happens, it really does), they often can be so “irritatingly cute” while doing it, that we forgive them in an instant.

It is benefits like these that help heal the wounds of solitude, age, stress and depression. It’s no wonder that they have the power to makes us their slaves.

Article written by Gary Fulgham owner of Jungletouch Savannahs and may NOT be copied or reproduced without prior written consent

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